It's bloody cold here. Freezing cold. The sky is as clear as a bell note at night which is great for star watchers however means no insulation keeping the warmth in. A double whammy for me if Girlpants does his usual trick of stealing the duvet.
Which wouldn't be that bad. Usually, I kick him in the shins or wet willy him to get him to move and once more, more duvet is conquered and claimed. And now that I've wiki-ed school pranks, I may try the nipple cripple next time. Anything for some warmth.
Last night, he had a new trick. I woke up at three in the morning, shivering and with a great willingness to kick. And there he was - cocooned up in the duvet, which he had hooked around himself and rolled around himself three times. Naddah covers on my side. There's a reason I was sneezing all of today.
So tonight, I may try a different method. Rubbing pepper one side of his pillow so he stays to one side - I may even go up another notch of evil and use chillis. Tucking my side under the bed may work. Or sew his jimjams to his side.
Alternatively, I may just take a second duvet to bed and a big f**k off wooden rolling pin.