1. Wake up at 5:15 to the sound of someone making a frantic attempt to clean their room, which 10minutes before, historically would have looked like a bomb hit it.
2. Dose back to sleep and the tap tap of someone quickly making their way down the stairs
3. Wake up the sound of murmuring voices - long distance phonecall maybe?
4. Listen to the sound of the downstairs curtains being pulled back and the patio door being open and shut every 5 minutes. Cue flashbacks to student smoking days.
5. Suddenly realise that the voices are getting louder
6. Suddenly realise that there are two voices
7. Suddenly realise that The Aussie has brought a friend home
8. And is drinking your wine (which the dear boy has now replaced)
9. Listening carefully, you logically reason that one of them is consciencious smoker hence the patio door is being open and shut
10. Listening carefully makes you realise that Girlpants has been grinding his teeth for some time
11. Which then makes you wake up. 2 hours before you need to be at work and after less than 6hours sleep
12. Wind yourself up into a hissy fit, while Girlpants sits on you to calm yourself down for the next 45 minutes
13. Come downstairs and use the f-word several times whilst making your point that noise et ergo mens voices travel
14. Then realise your hair looks like crap
15. And that you have a spot on your chin
16. Quietly wonder to yourself as to why spots continue after your teens into your thirties??
17. Turn around nicely to the young lady sitting petrified on the sofa and wish her a good morning, whilst she tries to unpeel herself from fear induced coma into the cushions
18. Be accused by cuz that you are a "racialist" blaming his voice as he's Aussie, as therefore his voice is deep and it isn't his fault
19. Remind cuz that it is his fault as he's a man whose balls have dropped. Which makes the nice young lady laugh.
20. Pay £4.75 into the swear box for potty mouth behaviour but walk away with the knowledge that despite the fact you looked like shite and dragged through the hedge backwards, you still made her laugh.

Which would have made far far more of an impression... ;o)