There's a new terrorist group folks. More extreme than the Judean Peoples Front or even the People's Front of Judea, and scarily enough, they're just across the bridge.

The Cornish National Liberation Army (CNLA) has raised it's profile for Cornish independence by threatening to firebomb Jamie Oliver and Rick Stein for alienating the local people. After all, it's not like they don't hire local people in jobs nor bring tourists to the county do they?? As celebrity chefs, they must have caused war, world hunger, made local house prices sky rocket as well as the price of cream teas. And to retaliate, they are now also threatening second home owners within the county (which admittedly they have a point on as the locals can no longer afford homes in their own home towns) as well as Anglo-Saxons who have moved in 1500 years ago, occupied thier lands and taken their women, cider and money!

A sympathetic Free Kernow wrote on the Free Moon Forum

"Cornwall is OCCUPIED by the English and has been since about 1536... Now since the war they have FLOODED into Cornwall. A definition of war crime is replacing an occupied people's land with the occupiers own people - that is what is happening in Cornwall, Scotland and Wales and happened in Northern Ireland. Interesting you can see some parallels -what is Cornwall except the Gaza of the indigenous Britons? STOP THE CORNISH GENOCIDE!"

Now now, Free Kernow. We all know your real name is Reg and you're 14 with a slight pimple problem...

Admittedly, Cornwall is if not the most, then amongst the most deprived areas within the UK. The local businesses depend on seasonal tourism and with out of towners snapping up old farmland, seaside and country homes whilst not living in the area, there's no real stream of money coming in whilst local people can't even afford to buy flats let alone houses. As businesses, they have to try and compete with Big Ears who incidently doesn't pay Capital Gains tax and Corporation tax but posted profits of £14 million last year. The GDP is 62% of the national average and Cornwall is one of four UK areas that qualifies for poverty-related grants from the EU (European Social Fund).

Now, I'm not claiming Free Kernow is a member of the CNLA. But he does share some of their sentiment for independence and probably helps to spray paint the Kernow flag on any English heritage signs near the motorways. But I would like to make two points to readers who are members of the CNLA who sent the email to the Western Morning News this morning.

1. Surely your name should be the Kernow National Liberation Army?
2. And your email was written in English...