Whilst the flu has finally subsided, I'm steadily becoming more aware of the parasitical life form within my belly. Ignoring the constant stuffed up nose, the hay fever for which there is no pill that I can take, the restless nights as I can no longer lie as I usually sleep and the back ache in my coccyx makes sitting at my desk and generally standing the proverbial pain in the derriere, in general, Although you would never know if you saw me from behind, the big fat belly I'm developing kind of gives it all away.

But joy of joys, apparently when you're up the duff, you're prone to bad dreams. Leaving out the usual cheese induced feverings, so far in my dreams, Girlpants as cheated on me in my dreams with Stacey and for which, I couldn't forgive him for the first half hour of being awake. There have been ghosts, Alien v Predator with the obligatory alien burst out of my chest/belly for full affect, gigantic cats, the re-occurring waking dream and the crouching tiger, hidden Sim flying through the air and beating up Alexis Colby dream.

Needless to say that morning conversations with Girlpants have been fun. But the last few nights have been racked with even more anxt as various people I know have been giving me words of advice and have filed me in with their experience and therefore knowledge of my "impending motherhood doom..."

Did you know that:

1. active mums make active babies
2. if you stretch too much when you're up the duff, then the baby stretches too and is prone to being strangled with the umblical cord
3. if Girlpants put the pounds on, I'm more prone to be carrying a girl
4. my baby will be bald when born as I've not experienced any heartburn

So....I have milked 1 to it's full effect, 2 has given me nightmares and Girlpants belly in 3 will only be influenced by mini-hd, as opposed to being caused by his own gluttony with the 2 kilo box of Hotel Chocolat. In comparoison, I totally expected 4....

That and I'm hoping that sproglet will be under 6.5lbs...
Any old wives tales for that??